As parents, we spend years preparing for it, yet somehow we’re never quite ready when it happens.
I still remember the first days of school, the activities, the lessons, the concerts, the sports, and all the little milestones that once seemed so far away. Looking back, it’s hard to believe how quickly those years passed.
Today, things look very different in our household. My son is pursuing his passion as a musician and building a life of his own. My daughter is attending university, working hard toward her goals and embracing the independence that comes with this exciting chapter of life.
Watching my children grow into capable young adults has been one of life’s greatest rewards. It’s also been a reminder that parenting is a continual process of letting go. Not all at once, but little by little.
The role changes as our children grow. We go from tying their shoes and packing their lunches to offering advice, encouragement, and support from the sidelines. We stop making decisions for them and start trusting them to make their own.
Of course, one area where many parents continue to play a significant role is financial support.
The reality facing young adults today is very different than it was for previous generations. Rising education costs, housing affordability challenges, and the increasing cost of everyday living mean that many young adults rely on financial assistance from their parents longer than expected. For many families, helping adult children has become a normal part of life.
As both a mother and a Financial Advisor, I understand the desire to help. We want our children to succeed. We want to make their journeys a little easier than our own. When they encounter challenges, our natural instinct is often to step in and provide support.
However, there is an important balance to maintain.
While helping our children can be a wonderful gift, it should never come at the expense of our own financial security. Over the years, I’ve met many parents who have delayed retirement, reduced their savings, or taken on financial stress while trying to support their adult children.
Generosity is admirable, but it is equally important to ensure that our own financial future remains secure.
I’ve always believed that one of the most valuable gifts we can give our children isn’t money itself. It’s the knowledge and confidence to manage it wisely.
That means teaching them how to budget, how to save, how to make thoughtful financial decisions, and how to understand the difference between short-term wants and long-term goals. It means helping them develop the skills they’ll need to become financially independent and resilient.
For my family, supporting our children has never been about removing every obstacle from their path. It’s about helping them navigate challenges while encouraging them to develop the confidence and capability to stand on their own.
That doesn’t mean the Bank of Mom and Dad has to close forever. Life is unpredictable, and there may be times when a helping hand is appropriate. But any support should have a purpose and a plan behind it.
As parents, our goal isn’t to raise children who depend on us indefinitely. Our goal is to raise adults who can thrive without us.
As I watch one child build a career doing what he loves and another pursue her education and future ambitions, I feel a tremendous sense of pride. The journey wasn’t always easy, and there were certainly moments when letting go felt impossible.
But that’s the beauty of parenting.
We spend years teaching our children how to fly, and then we discover that the greatest joy comes from watching them soar.